2003-06-10 - 11:31 a.m.
Hey hey. It took me a few times to get to this page, does that mean that I need a gold membership? But I think I will have to stop writing in this diary sometime soon anyway, because I don't really have anything to say. I mean, sure, I want to write about myself, but I want it to be interesting and when it just can't be because your life is boringly copacetic, except that you need a hot boyfriend and a career and health insurance, what are you to do. I guess I could write about my serious problems, but who wants to do that? not me. I'll hint at them: Mom, alcohol, worried about family for various reasons and low self-worth. Pretty standard.
I've noticed that I have a roll of fat at the back pf my head, like an old bald man. I have been wearing my hair in 2 buns at the back of my head lately, and today i am wearing two long pigtails, pulled tight by wrapping an elastic around them each 4 times. This way of wearing my hair draws attention to my part in the back of my head at the base, where there is a strange roll of fat. It's kindof disturbing but not especially. I saw Elliott Smith in concert the other night. He was ugly and dirty looking. And serious, but at the end he blew a kiss to the audience. i waved goodbye involuntarily. That man has seen some troubles. I wonder what kinds of girls he has been in love with, who those songs are about? His songs are so sad and they really made me feel better. ever since I saw him I've felt much more wise about the world. I want to not shit talk constantly and as I get older, living in my own apartment, I am taking on all these grown-up responsibilities which make me feel sage. they are only things like flossing, drinking enough water, being civil but not fake to my roommate who I kind of hate, and being a good friend to people who i have been a flake to before.
I am obsessed with Friendster and have found many of my old boyfriends and friends and bad dates on there. But I hope they don't find me.
