2003-06-02 - 10:55 a.m.
It's Monday afternoon, there is a Ford Bronco parked with its grill in the shop, different girls keep getting in and out and then going over to the drug dealer's house next door. I don't like the drug dealer, he seems stupid and mean. He has this tiny daughter who comes over here a lot, because she needs attention and loves my boss. She's super cute, really tiny and dresses in Pink, but for some reason I don't like her either. When she comes and raps on the gate when I am the only one here, I ignore her. Isn't that mean!
I don't indisciminately love all kids. I want to have some, and I love the ones in my family, but otherwise I might not call myself a real kids person. Anyhow, why am I talking about this? I've had a really nice past few days, though I don't have a real job yet. A few of my friends have moved back to New York for the summer and I feel so happy. I went to a High School reunion the other day, and I hugged all these cute people, nerds galore. I love my high school, though I was lonely and felt hideous and weird then. But I always had lots of friends, and the other day, as I doled out my number to people I've known since age 12 left and right, I was like, maybe I'm not so weird. Look at these people, I am so happy to see them, and they are all giggley, going to Harvard Law now but still remembering me, how we used to sit together in official and share a bagel or talk shit about our dirty statistics teacher. I really love people, especially nerds.
I am officially sex obsessed. When one of my my roommates wrote in her online profile for this website that she liked boys with clean fingernails, i was like, "eew, she means for fingering?" My friend was like, "No, dude. What's wrong with you?" And then another time someone said, "Spring has Sprung" (okay, it was me), and I was like, Whoa, Sprung, that's dirty. A boyfriend one time said in a letter to me that I had gotten him sprung, and so I've always thought it was raunchy.. But I haven't had sex in 7 months, and I'm starting to become obsessed with it (my lack of sex, but also obviously, sex itself), this is like a lame mantra for me. I keep repeating it when in conversation, you know: well, I haven't had sex in 7 months, i told you that, right??? It's so sad, how openly I betray my kind of desparate situation.
