2003-05-21 - 10:49 a.m.
I realize that I am repetitive. I've told the same stories on here a few times at least. I'm sorry, my friends. This is what it really is to be my friend in the real world too. I totally forget that I've told someone something a few times, especially if it is about a boy. Because I have this strong compulsion to tell tell tell all details about anything romantic. The other person is like, "ooh, exciting!" and then loses all interest, because I'm never like, "And then we had sex in Central Park at midnight!" "And then he asked me to marry him and move to Europe and I said yes!" "And then I poured my vanilla milkshake in his lap!" Etc. I'm really like, "And then he said that I was cute!" "Then he winked at me!" "Then he said, hey, we're wearing the same bracelet!!" For me, who got very little attention from boys in high school, all of it makes me want to squeal.
I don't know what to write about today. Tonight i am going out for "African Food" with my old friend Daniel. I was like, dude, Africa's not a country. But he didn't get into specifics. I've known him since he was 11! And since he was very small and cute, with curly brown hair and pretty greeny eyes. Now, 11 years later, he has multiple facial piercings and is very blond and gay. And is still wee and cute. And kind of mean, I am a little scared of him. Every once in a while, when the playlist here gets round to it, this Peaches song comes on that makes me really uncomfortable. It goes: "Suckin' on my titties like you be wantin' me, callin' me all the time like Blondie check out my blah blah, sex on the beaches, teaches of peaches blah blah..Fuck the Pain away, Fuck the Pain away, fuck the Pain away, (repeat)". i think I'm going to delete it, it's covert sexual harassment, though our lesbian friend downloaded it.
Today we, myself and three 35 year old men, were talking about the new t-shirts we ordered for the studio, and one of them was like, "I need it to not be so tight, I got these love handles back here." And I was like, "You guys, are these love handles? i don't know." I have this strange distribution of fat on my back, like a continuation of my butt. I think i wear my pants too low, i am always showing crack. They were like, "Yeah, Megan, that's woman fat. it's sexy though. It's a place to grab on to, you know.." and some sex motions were made. I didn't mind, i felt better about it. My definition of what's sexual harassment here is so arbitrary. Yesterday one of them was like, "Megan, take dictation.." and then one of them, my own brother in law, was like, "Megan's good at taking DICK-tation.." I was like, "I'm quitting." They said sorry. They are like a bunch of real, kind of dumb, but nice guys who have no idea what to talk about with a shy girl who is pretty but totally sexually off-limits for them. Who would? We talk about the business, and sometimes the Yankees.
