2003-05-06 - 9:20 a.m.
Maybe I should be a paralegal. Maybe I should go into law, and go to law school. Or maybe I should go to graduate school for English. I want to learn other languages. I want also to own a pickup truck. I just ate barbeque potato chips, before 11 am. How sick. Although I've never tried cutting myself, I think I can see a little bit how it would feel good, because I really like healing myself. I mean, when i get an injury or a surburn or something, I take every appropriate measure, pouring hydrogen peroxide over open wounds and watching it bubble white and then drip away, or rubbing aloe over hot burned skin, then applying every appropriate bandage, I have ones of all sizes, and neosporin with pain reliever. Then watching things heal really makes me feel like I am alive and organic. Scabs are crazy. I say this because I also like getting my period every month. Not that I am injured when I have it, but i like taking care of my body when something unusual is happening--sleeping, taking care of blood, using hot compresses for cramps. Another thing about this though is that I love certain routines. Like, just routines of life--brushing, flossing, waking up, showering, dressing, listening to the weather. I love daily routines like this. I don't love coming to work every day and filing, or paying bills, or fielding very low levels of sexual harassment, "Sorry, Megan, I forgot you were here. Pretend you didn't hear what i just said. Did you hear me? Aw, you are so cute.". I am not that boring that I really enjoy those routines at all. But I love taking care of being alive routines. They really satisfy me.
