2003-03-12 - 1:09 p.m.
The date I went on last week was kind of terrible. Eric is not cute at all, but so nice, but he is balding and getting fat. oh, man. and I let him kiss me! That is a testament to how much I liked him personally, which was a decent amount. He thought I was funny. But just to let some schlub kiss me? He tried to open mouth me, but I wouldn't open my mouth. These lips, these very lips! And it was after I ate a cheesburger with blue cheese and onions on it. Eew!
What am I, a princess? I just wasn't attracted to him. And now I have to call him and tell him the haps, that I don't like him like that. Last night I went out with my roommate to celebrate her getting into graduate school, and we had our first fight. It was kind of relieving, because it wasn't too bad, i totally got over it. By the end of the night we were laughing and all.
It's because we saw a girl i love, the Liza Minnelli girl. I saw her first as a gogo dancer for Dementia Thirteen last summer. She is funny looking but beautiful, she looks just like Liza Minnelli. But almost in a freakish way. Her nose is long and aquiline, and her eyes are too big, and her hair is black and perfectly Liza. I almost wanted to have sex with her, i like her so much. She was with trendy friends in Daddy's. When i saw her for the first time, last summer, I was with Lucas and he was almost weirded out by how much i liked her. Anyway my roommate was like, You should tell her how much you love her. It would make her day. But i was intimidated, and plus I almost felt like she would be insulted. She must know she looks like Liza Minnelli, but also i loved her because she was a beautiful freak,not just because she was beautiful. I was going to, but then I didn't, and we left. Anj. was all mad, she was like, "You're a chicken! you're such a fucking pussy! I can't believe you didn't want to do that, it would have made her day!" What does she know about me, anyway. She really thinks I'm a pussy. And i think so too, but also, unlike her, I hardly ever see the point of talking to dudes in bars. it's based on insecurity and conviction that they will be lame, as well as like her better than me, my roommate I mean. It's depressing, what my life is devolving into. Shallowness and insecurity.
