2003-03-05 - 4:10 p.m.
I am writing in my online diary. I wonder if anyone will ever find me. Right now I am alone at work, my eczema itching furiously. It's on my cheek, a red crescent on my cheek, the size of a plum. I was supposed to do a lot of things today and i haven't done any. Why bother? Because i don't want to be a miserable sod. What must they think I do here alone? I always fear they think i must be masturbating here, all alone. Which i have done a few times. Not in my life, in my life it's been more than a few times, but here, at work, i've masturbated maybe, twice.
Anyway, they probably don't think that. that's my paranoia. They probably think/know i just look up random shit on the internet all day. I used to have a diary in here, but then it turned out badly, everyone at my school read it, and once a boy i liked said, 'I hear you write about me all the time in your online diary." And his girlfriend said, "Don't.." to him. it was embarassing. Fuck that stupid mother fucker. i hope my mom never finds this.
Not that I am not a grown up or anything, that i should really care what my mother thinks about me. i will be 23 in 2 weeks. I ate a huge meatball parm sandwich for lunch today. HUGE-like. My friend Anatole, a raw foodist, said, 'why would you eat something that you wouldn't want on your hands, or that would stain your shirt?" about cooked foods, how he feels towards them now. I had just eaten a slicea pizza when he said that, and I felt like a monster. Gotta go! I have a date tomorrow, I'll keep you posted! It might end in frenching, and it will certainly involve free beer!
